Sober Curiousity
Hey BBGs,
Happy February 1st, and Happy Black History Month!
This week, I’ve decided to write about my journey with my first-ever *voluntary* dry January and to provide some advice for anyone considering sober curiosity.
Let me start by saying, I am not that big of a drinker. As an avid **ex** ~gardener~, drinking is not something that I necessarily crave. Drinking is more of a right of passage for special occasions and something that I find myself partaking in when in social situations (i.e., on a night out, at dinner with friends, birthdays, etc.). Especially in college, I felt somewhat drawn to drink for the effects of alcohol, but I genuinely detested the taste, smell, and hangxiety that followed suit. To be frank, I think I might even have a slight intolerance to alcohol.
Following my college graduation, and an extreme bender across Europe accompanied by at least 5 drinks a day, I returned home feeling disgusted by the thought of alcohol. This period got me thinking about my relationship with alcohol, substances, and their effects on my mental health in general. That is when I began to dive deep into what exactly I wanted my relationship with alcohol to look like, and that is when I stumbled upon this term I’d never heard before, and that is sober curiosity.
Ok… you may be thinking… what the fuck is sober curiosity? Isn’t that just alcoholism masked as a trendy way to admit you have a problem? Surprisingly, it is not.
Sober curiosity is a term that means questioning your relationship with alcohol and thinking about trying sobriety, even if you are not ready to commit to it. Sober curiosity involves reevaluating and probing one’s relationship and proximity to alcohol/ Sober curiosity doesn't necessarily mean complete abstinence from alcohol forever; rather, it involves a more thoughtful and intentional approach to drinking. It encourages individuals to question societal norms around alcohol consumption and take active steps to live a lifestyle that fits their definition.
Though alcohol may not be a dangerous problem for all, it can still be a problem. You don’t have to hit 'rock bottom' to make a serious lifestyle change—and the sober curious movement recognizes that and helps to break the stigmas that have long been associated with sobriety. (Sheppard 2023).
I don't know about you, but the quote above really resonates with me, especially thinking back to my relationship with alcohol in my early adolescent years. Growing up in the United States, the legal drinking age is 21. However, starting from as early as 16, I began to see my peers sneaking around and consuming alcohol in excess, with the fear of being judged or disciplined for exploring their relationship with alcohol. Speaking from personal experience, there were a lot of regretful decisions and scary moments that happened when consuming alcohol irresponsibly. There were times when I fell sick and had to seek help from friends. There were times when I didn't remember many events of that night. There were times when I had made rash decisions that, in hindsight, were not the best judgment of character. And most importantly, there were times when I put my safety and well-being in jeopardy. I am 22 now and am still learning, but I say all this to warn those young readers who may be going down a dark path that was once familiar to me as well. Simply put, if you're blacking out and not remembering who you're with, where you are, how much you've consumed, or how you got home, etc, you probably should be reevaluating your relationship with substances.
However, I'm a firm believer that we should reevaluate the social norms and taboos surrounding consuming alcohol *responsibly* at a young age. I truly think that the legal ramifications around underage consumption of alcohol and drugs are what leadto so many young people experiencing alcohol abuse and other forms of substance abuse. I will get into a whole other post on decriminalization of drugs and my take on that eventually, but for now, let’s focus on alcohol. Rather than being open and honest with our loved ones and ourselves about the dangers and the responsibilities associated with consuming alcohol from a young age, we feel shame around exploration and, as a result, put our health and our well-being at risk for the sake of “ fitting in” “ looking cool”, or “ having fun”. Unfortunately, this is a misconception that so many young people face, especially in our generation.
There is this ingrained social norm deeply rooted in self-esteem that leads young folks to infer that consuming alcohol at social events is the only way to have fun and to be popular or to socialize in general. Especially in college, alcohol is the pinnacle of all social events. From frat parties to mixers to football games to nights out at the club to spring break trips and everything in between, alcohol is an ever-present component of collegiate social life. Playing beer pong or taking shots with your friends is all fun and games, but it is important to remember that the adolescent brain is not designed to consume alcohol at that stage. In fact, statistics show that there are irreversible consequences of underage consumption of alcohol that should be brought to public attention.
Consuming alcohol can have serious and sometimes irreversible consequences. from a neurological standpoint here are some of the negative impacts of alcohol on neural development. Alcohol interferes with the brain’s communication pathways and can affect the way the brain looks and works. Alcohol makes it harder for the brain areas controlling balance, memory, speech, and judgment to do their jobs, resulting in a higher likelihood of injuries and other negative outcomes (NIAAA)
Further, alcohol usage and abuse can result in
Neurotoxicity:
Chronic alcohol use can lead to neurotoxicity, causing damage to nerve cells and their connections, which can result in cognitive impairments and difficulties in learning and memory.
Brain Shrinkage:
Long-term alcohol abuse has been associated with a reduction in brain volume. This shrinkage, particularly in regions such as the frontal cortex and hippocampus, can contribute to cognitive deficits, including problems with decision-making and memory.
Disruption of Neurotransmitters:
Alcohol affects neurotransmitter levels in the brain. It enhances the inhibitory effects of gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) while inhibiting the excitatory effects of glutamate. This imbalance can lead to symptoms such as drowsiness, impaired coordination, and, in severe cases, blackouts.
Impaired Synaptic Plasticity:
Synaptic plasticity is crucial for learning and memory. Chronic alcohol use can disrupt these processes, impairing the brain's ability to adapt and form new connections between neurons.
Inflammation and Oxidative Stress:
Alcohol can induce inflammation and oxidative stress in the brain. These processes contribute to cellular damage and are associated with various neurological disorders, including neurodegenerative diseases.
Impact on White Matter Integrity:
White matter in the brain consists of nerve fibers responsible for transmitting signals between different brain regions. Chronic alcohol use can disrupt the integrity of white matter, affecting communication between neurons and leading to cognitive dysfunction.
Increased Risk of Neurological Disorders:
Long-term alcohol abuse is a known risk factor for neurological disorders such as Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome and alcoholic dementia. These conditions are characterized by severe cognitive impairment and memory loss.
Vulnerability to Mental Health Issues:
Alcohol abuse is linked to an increased risk of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety disorders. The impact on neurotransmitter systems and overall brain function can contribute to the development or exacerbation of these conditions if misused.
I point out these neurological impacts not to deter you from consuming alcohol, but rather to be mindful of the impacts that they have on your neural development, not to mention other parts of your body and mind. If sober curiosity is something that you're interested in participating in but don't know where to start, here are a few activities that I found have been helpful to reduce my alcohol intake.
Sober Curious Activities
Try out a zero-proof bar
Join social events that aren’t centered around alcohol
i.e., a book club
Join a run/exercise club!
Have a mocktail party
Read a book
Be a Designated Driver/Designated Sober Friend!
Learn a new language
Read a book
Phone a loved one
Journal about anything :)
Sober curiosity has allowed me to open my eyes and curate a space where I feel safe and not judged around my decision to consume or not consume alcohol. While Sober curiosity is a journey and comes with a lot of ups and downs, I am so grateful that I made this choice to start 2024 free of substances. I'm not sure if this is forever, but for now, I feel as though sober curiosity is what's best for my mental and physical well-being.
If I can do it, so can YOU <3
That's all I have for today! Be sure to be on the lookout for more blog posts coming in the upcoming week. Take care of yourselves this black history month and right in with any topics that you'd like covered this month.
With Love,
Syd
If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
